The Beautiful Reality of Fidelity

Love Is Patient, But I'm Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

Introducing the great mystery of “bethroyal”.


The prophet Hosea writes in Hosea 2:19-20:
And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.

The word betroth is something we don’t really hear anymore is it? Betrothal is a promise. It’s the commitment of marriage. Now, you’ve heard the stats on marriage and how Biblical marriage is under attack in our culture, but at the end of the day, do we truly understand what this commitment honestly is?

Well, we are going to wrap up our conversation with my guest today is Christopher West. We have been discussing his new book all week long. It’s titled, “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.

On today’s episode of God, Sex and You, we’ll discuss:

  1. Why marriage is a foreshadowing of something so much bigger than ourselves.
  2. Why marriage is a spiritual mystery.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 5:25

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.  No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

We are familiar with a man being called a husband and a woman his bride, but in this text, we see a great mystery unfolding. The apostle Paul is telling us that Jesus Christ is our Groom, and we, as His Church, are His bride.

Let me give you a really simple (and silly) illustration. Think of it this way: our earthly marriage is like playing baseball for the minor leagues. God is preparing us through testing, trials, and temptations for the major leagues. Ultimately, Christ’s marriage to the Church is playing in the majors. Jesus sets the standard for all marriages. Why? Because Jesus Christ is the perfect Groom!

In other words, Jesus is not just the Lord of lord and the King of kings, He’s also the Groom of grooms.

He just happens to be married to an imperfect bride (that’s us). Therefore, our physical marriages here on earth are much more important than we think. Marriage is teaching us a spiritual reality that we see in Revelation 19:6b-8: “Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to Him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and His bride has prepared herself.”

Next week we are going to do something fun, we’re going to look in our rear view mirror on some amazing guests that I’ve had over the past six years.

The Miracle of Grace

Love Is Patient, But I'm Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

What kind of forgiveness is that? What kind of love is that? Jesus, knowing His Father’s plan, was utterly obedient to the point of death.


In the Gospel of Luke chapter 23:26, Luke writes:

As they led Jesus away, a man named Simon, who was from Cyrene, happened to be coming in from the countryside. The soldiers seized him and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. A large crowd trailed behind, including many grief-stricken women. Two others, both criminals, were led out to be executed with him. When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed Jesus to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on his right and one on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Well, my guest today is Christopher West. Christopher is going to share some thoughts and stories on this kind of love as we continue discussing, his new book titled, “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist.”

On today’s episode of God, Sex and You, we’ll discuss:

  1. Why real love – true love – God’s love draws us close and yet makes us uncomfortable.
  2. The profound realization that we cause others pain because we’re in pain.
  3. Being able to say hard things when your eyes are full of mercy.

FINAL THOUGHTS

If we want to know how to love – we must look at the life of Jesus Christ.  He was fully human and fully God. He shows us how to love by His words and actions. He shows us how to live and how to die.  He came to serve and not be served.

The Apostle Paul writes in Colossians 1:15

Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see—such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together. Christ is also the head of the church, which is his body. He is the beginning, supreme over all who rise from the dead. So he is first in everything. For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and through him God reconciled everything to himself.He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.

Tomorrow, we’ll wrap up our conversation with Christopher West and his new book “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist.”  And if you were paying close attention yesterday, you’ll notice that I promised you a story about Christopher, a cab driver and the number of wives each has.  I know it sounds like a setup for a joke, but it’s not.  Well, we never got to it, did we? I lied, please forgive me, BUT you’ll hear it tomorrow, and it’s a great story so you’ll want to tune and listen.

Why Your Story Is Your Glory

Love Is Patient, But I'm Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

Many of us know that story – it’s the story of The Fall. It’s how sin entered into mankind. Today, we’ll take a look at this story through the lens of God’s love – the freedom in love – in the midst of Adam and Eve committing the first sin.


Genesis 3 reads,
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”  And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,  but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”  But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

My guest is Christopher West, a best selling author, speaker, teacher and world-renowned expert on John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”. Todays’ interview comes from Christopher with his new book titled, “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.

On today’s episode of God, Sex and You, we’ll discuss:

  1. Love respects the freedom of others.
  2. How do we respect someone’s freedom wrongly?
  3. Being educated in the proper use of freedom

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The Apostle John writes in 1 John 4:7-18:

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.  But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.  This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

 And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God.  We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.  And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.  We love each other because he loved us first.

So friend, are you learning how to love the way God loves you.  Remember our definition of love from yesterday? Love is A loyalty and fidelity that propels us to action for the good of others—no matter the cost to me.

When we start to catch a glimpse of that kind of love, oh my goodness, you’ll start to see people the way God does.

We’ll, tomorrow, we’ll continue our conversation with Christopher West and his new book “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist.”  We’ll hear a great story of Christopher, a cab driver and the number of wives each has.

Addicted to Love

Love Is Patient, But I'm Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

If you and I were having a cup of coffee and I gave you 60 seconds to write a definition of love, what do you think you would come up with?


Would it list a bunch of emotions and feelings? Would it focus on you or other people? Love is a subject to where all peoples in all tongues since the beginning of time has been infatuated with. In our culture, we are fascinated and addicted to it. Doesn’t this obsession show us the eternal need for something we don’t understand? And because we don’t understand it we mislabel, misuse, abuse and call it things that it is not.

Well, today we are going to look at scripture to give us a definition of love. My guest is Christopher West, a best selling author, speaker, teacher and world-renowned expert on John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”. This week we get to see a personal side of Christopher with his new book titled, “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.

On today’s episode of God, Sex and You, we’ll discuss:

  1. Defining love vs describing love.
  2. The difference between love and lust.
  3. How the movie Toy Story 3 has profound truths that are not to be toyed with.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Jesus said in the gospel of John 15:13, “Love each other in the same way I have loved you.  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

The Apostle Paul writes in Colossians 3:14, “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

The Apostle John writes in 1 John 4:18, “We love because he first loved us.” And again in 1 John 4:8, Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

As we search the scriptures on love, we’ll see over and over again that love is a sacrifice. If there is no sacrifice, is it really love?

Here’s my personal definition of love: A loyalty and fidelity that propels us to action for the good of others—no matter the cost to me.

We’ll, tomorrow, we’ll continue our conversation with Christopher West and his new book “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.  We’ll hear a great example and story of how love is not rude and doesn’t get it’s own way.

The Unlovable Lie

Love Is Patient, But I'm Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

There is a lie that, dare I say, all of us believe at some time and at some level in our lives. And the lie is this…


…if you really knew who I was, if you really knew what goes through my head, if you really knew my thoughts and my heart, you wouldn’t love me.

This lie is called shame, and as Christians, we are very good at hiding our shame through hyperactivity and busyness. We’re always trying to prove who we are instead of believing and trusting what God says about us in His Word.

Well, today we are going to talk about this lie of being unlovable. My guest is Christopher West, a best selling author, speaker, teacher and world-renowned expert on John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”. This week we get to see a personal side of Christopher with his new book titled, “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.

On today’s episode of God, Sex and You, we’ll discuss:

  1. How to accept grace
  2. Seeing vs. becoming one who sees

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Christopher said something that I want to touch on, “We can bear any hardship if we have the motive of love.”  When Christopher said this, Hebrews 12 came to mind:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

This joy is a joy that Jesus would later have after His work was done. It’s delayed gratification. It’s the same joy that He had with His Father before They created the world and everything in it.

Jesus speaks of this joy in John 17:4-5, “I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work You gave Me to do. Now, Father, bring Me into the glory We shared before the world began.”

Jesus is speaking of that joy when He personally exchanged our shame for His death and resurrection. Yes, indeed, we really can bear any hardship if we have the motive of love, and the Lord Jesus Christ exhibits this for us.

Tomorrow, we’ll continue our conversation with Christopher West and his new book “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.  We’ll define and describe what Biblical love is from 1 Corinthians 13.