The Unlovable Lie

Love Is Patient, But I'm Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

There is a lie that, dare I say, all of us believe at some time and at some level in our lives. And the lie is this…

…if you really knew who I was, if you really knew what goes through my head, if you really knew my thoughts and my heart, you wouldn’t love me.

This lie is called shame, and as Christians, we are very good at hiding our shame through hyperactivity and busyness. We’re always trying to prove who we are instead of believing and trusting what God says about us in His Word.

Well, today we are going to talk about this lie of being unlovable. My guest is Christopher West, a best selling author, speaker, teacher and world-renowned expert on John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”. This week we get to see a personal side of Christopher with his new book titled, “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.

On today’s episode of God, Sex and You, we’ll discuss:

  1. How to accept grace
  2. Seeing vs. becoming one who sees


Christopher said something that I want to touch on, “We can bear any hardship if we have the motive of love.”  When Christopher said this, Hebrews 12 came to mind:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

This joy is a joy that Jesus would later have after His work was done. It’s delayed gratification. It’s the same joy that He had with His Father before They created the world and everything in it.

Jesus speaks of this joy in John 17:4-5, “I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work You gave Me to do. Now, Father, bring Me into the glory We shared before the world began.”

Jesus is speaking of that joy when He personally exchanged our shame for His death and resurrection. Yes, indeed, we really can bear any hardship if we have the motive of love, and the Lord Jesus Christ exhibits this for us.

Tomorrow, we’ll continue our conversation with Christopher West and his new book “Love Is Patient, But I’m Not: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist”.  We’ll define and describe what Biblical love is from 1 Corinthians 13.