Sex After Kids

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Five

I had a dad tell me the other day that his kids were ruining his life. He said it with a grin so I knew that he was only half kidding.

I then asked him if he agreed with Psalm 127:3,

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

“Yes”, he said. “It just seems like the reward of children is overwhelming most of the time!”

Do you feel like that? Overwhelmed with the kids, frantic when you get to work and then it seems like you aren’t able to get anything done because your mind is on the kids? Then you rush home to drive the kids all around the city because of their extra curricular activities, and by the time everyone finally gets home for the day it’s 9pm. Needless to say that everyone is hungry, grumpy and tired. Oh, and this is the first time you’ve seen your spouse all day…and he just happens to have that “lovin’ feeling” in the twinkle of his eye.

So, how do you pursue sex with your spouse after having kids? What does sexual intimacy look like during this season of your life? We wrap up our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray today discussing her new book Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. How sex with your spouse is the culmination of everything else in your life. In other words, how does sex reveal what other things are healthy or unhealthy with your spouse?
  2. Husbands, how sensitive are you to your wife’s sexual needs?
  3. Why it’s important to have Father’s SPEAK into the lives of their daughters.

To Spank or Not To Spank?

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Four

When it comes to raising children, one of the most controversial issues parents can discuss is whether or not they should spank their children or not.

Fortunately, God has a lot to say about this:

Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them. – Proverbs 23:13

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. – Proverbs 13:24

Wow! That seems well, ummm…pretty straight forward. But let’s make sure we don’t take these pieces of scripture out of context. What else does God’s Word have to say about this form of discipline? These passages certainly answer the question as to “why” you should discipline your children, but what about the “when” question.

Well, my guest today has tremendous insight – Godly insight full of grace and truth that every parent should hear. We continue our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray discussing her new book Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three things:

  1. The Church’s view on spanking vs. the world’s view.
  2. Is anti-spanking being anti-discipline?
  3. Can you spank your children and still remain inside the realm of grace?

The Difference Between Discipline & Punishment

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Three

Do you know the difference between disciplining your children and punishing your children? Maybe a better question is, do your children know the difference?

Today, we continue our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray on our series of Grace Based Discipline. She has a new book titled, Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss four things:

  1. The specific differences between discipline and punishment.
  2. Some of the natural consequences of discipline.
  3. How to set up different categories of rules and violations for your children’s behavior.
  4. How to implement a Family Rules Summit.

How to Separate Your Child From Their Behavior

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Two

So there you are, in the checkout aisle of your favorite grocery store and your mission has been successful – groceries without one of the kids creating a scene of any kind…

Well, that is until your six year old sees his favorite candy bar. He asks if he can have it. You politely tell him “no” because you’re getting ready to go home and fix lunch with all the new groceries that are in the cart.

He asks again, this time with a little more whine in his voice. You give him the parental “mom look”. All of a sudden his bottom lip begins to quiver… and “BAM!” Meltdown on aisle three. So close, but yet so far away.

How do you handle those situations? Well, my guest today, Karis Kimmel Murray has some sage advice for those of us that find ourselves in that predicament. She has a new book titled, Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss five things:

1) How parents are the “first responders” to your child’s crisis.
2) Introducing the “mental basket” method.
3) The difference between labeling your child and prophesying over your child.
4) How to “tag” your child’s behavior.
5) How to see your child the way God see’s them.

Grace Based Discipline

How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst

I had so much fun interviewing Dr. Tim Kimmel last week with Family Matters, I had to go back and interview his daughter Karis Kimmel Murray.

Karis just released her first book title Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst. Karis writes and speaks as a voice to the next generation of parents. She also co-hosts The Family Matters Minute, a nationally syndicated one-minute radio segment heard by millions of listeners every day. To learn more about Karis and her new book, visit Family Matters.net.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. A blueprint of grace.
  2. Why grace is a radical concept especially when it comes to discipline.
  3. The difference between grace and mercy.

How Young Is Too Young To Discuss Pornography?

I received a phone call from a dad the other day. He was in shock. His 9 year old son was searching for pornography on the family computer.

He was typing into Google words that he heard at school. His son was now staring at images to graphic to describe. His father shocked, disgusted and terrified as to what to do next. So if this were your nine year old little boy, what would you do?

My guest today is Kristen Jensen, author of “Good Pictures Bad Pictures” and she has great advice along with a strategic plan as to what parents can do to start the porn conversation with their young children.

How To Protect Young Eyes From Pornography

As a parent, how do you start the conversation with your children about pornography?

I am not a big fan of statistics. Stats tell us many things and yet, at the same time…tell us nothing.

If statistics actually meant something to us, nobody would smoke, drink or eat fast food. We would all be exercising instead of stuffing our face with double cheeseburgers.

My view however, is that there are people behind statistics. There are actual real living, breathing human beings made in the image of Almighty God behind these stats – no matter what the stats represent.

Now with that disclaimer, let me give you some stats that should peak your interest especially if you are a parent, because these stats represent your children These stats are from a nationwide survey from ProvenMen.com.

With respect to men between the ages of 18 and 30, the survey reveals:

  • nearly two out of ten boys (17%) first viewed pornography before they were 9 years old
  • nearly four out of ten boys (38%) first viewed pornography before the age of 12
  • nearly nine out of ten boys (88%) first viewed pornography before turning 16

The age when Christian men first began viewing pornography is virtually the same as the national averages.

What about women?

  • One in four girls (25%) between the ages of 18 and 30 first viewed pornography before the age of 12,
    and 61% of girls viewed pornography before 16 years of age.

The age that Christian women first began viewing pornography is fairly close to these national averages.

Lastly, eight out of ten adults, do not have a pornography-blocking filter installed on their computer or cell phone. Only one in ten adults have pornography filters or blocks on both cell phones and computers.

Well, I hope that we can motivate parents and children today as we discuss what it looks like to protect your children from becoming a statistic.  My guest today is Chris McKenna with a ministry called Protect Young Eyes and on today’s show we are going to visit eight specific strategies for creating an internet-safe home.

Would Your Child Make You Blush About Sex?

The children’s index of sexual terms surpassed even the knowledge of the sex education consultant!

Magazines like Maxim, Esquire, The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and Cosmopolitan can be found in nearly every pharmacy, gas station, and grocery store in America. The covers of these magazines epitomize our society’s sexual standards. Filled with images of barely clothed women with a “come-get-me look” on their faces, magazines like these present images of the so called “ideal” woman and share about how the so called “ideal” man can merit such women.

Jonny Hunt, a sex education consultant, stood before the class and asked the students to write an A-Z list of the sexual terms
 they knew, no matter how extreme. There the children sat wearing school uniforms, wide-eyed, shy, high-pitched voices, barely adolescents — writing all the sexual terms they could remember.

When Mr. Hunt pinned their lists to the board, every adult in the room was startled about how much they knew: their index of sexual terms surpassed even the knowledge of the sex education consultant!

Wow! What do you think? If you asked your kids to do the same, to write down every sexual term they knew, would they introduce you to a few new terms that you’ve never heard before?

Maybe a better question is, would your child make you blush?

My guest today Luke Gilkerson who has written a new eBook with Covenant Eyes titled: Parenting the Internet Generation: A Blueprint for Teaching Digital Discernment.

Your Daughter’s Value and Identity

Is It Coming From Hollywood or God?

Driving home from school, my daughter asked me, “What’s the deal about a b*** job?”

Several weeks ago I mentioned a sexual purity conference for youth that was put on by a Phoenix Church (The Community Church of Joy). I shared with you some of the questions that were asked during the Q&A portion by young men who were in high school.

In this week’s show we continue our conversation with Shannon Hoffpauir. She is no stranger to the questions that middle school and high school girls ask. Questions that may make a parent, pastor or teacher squirm or blush… especially when it comes to homosexuality and oral sex, but Shannon handles these very real questions through Biblical Truth and grace-filled relationships. Shannon has been teaching students for nearly two decades specifically in Christian Education.

Kids Are More Curious Rather Than Embarrassed By Sex

(So Why Are We So Uptight?)

Your children are not nearly as uptight about sex as you are. They are simply curious and actually would like you (yes, you – mom and dad) to teach them.

If you are a parent you’re going to be very interested in today’s show. And even if you are not a parent, today’s topic will leave you pondering questions, like…how on Earth did we as a country get to this point? The point to where our children are so confused when it comes to sex and sexuality. The point to where our children believe the lie that marriage between one man and one woman is not a priority, but in fact, is a joke. How did we get to the point to where pornography is so prevalent in high school and college that statistics tell us that nearly 100% of all students are watching it?

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Train up a child in the way he should go: even when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

Is this a bit concerning? Well, I have very good news for you… my guest today has been teaching students for nearly two decades specifically in Christian Education. Shannon Hoffpauir is the founder Oikos Ministries.