The Seven Places That Will Set You Sexually Free

Made Perfect in Purity

We wrap up our study on being Made Perfect in Purity today. We started off in the Old Testament by defining what purity is, we studied Prov 5, 6, and 7 and heard the tenderness of our Heavenly Father. We then moved to the New Testament and looked at the incredible story of Jesus and the woman who was caught in adultery. Now we get to see how all of this comes together to a fantastic conclusion.

I mentioned several days ago that Jesus knows the pain and shame that goes with your sexual sin. Today we learn how He did that.

In today’s podcast, We’ll learn…

  1. Why Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” who is the only one who can take away sin.
  2. Why Jesus bled from seven places for our lack of purity.
  3. What a lesson like this should drive us to do in response.


Worship is indeed the only thing that we can do when we see and feel the weight/gravity of what the Lord Jesus Christ has done in our lives. Worship and gratefulness and thankfulness.

I love preaching that message because as I go through those seven places, I have the incredible privilege of having a front row seat to watch the Lord set people free by the power of the Holy Spirit. People’s eyes just well up with tears and God lets them know that they are indeed forgiven and free.

How about you? Have you come to the place where the chains have been broken, and you’re not carrying around the baggage of sexual sin anymore? If not, why? Do you think it’s not possible? Or is it that you still love your sin too much?

Neither Do I

Made Perfect in Purity

Are you getting a better idea of what the word “purity” truly means? Well, I pray that the Lord continues to teach you in this area of purity and holiness as we press on with our discussion of how God makes us Perfect in Purity.

We’ve been reading in Proverbs for the last several days studying chapters 5, 6 and 7 which is part of the Old Testament. Today we move to the New Testament and ask the question, How exactly did Jesus handle people who were sexual sinners? Did He yell at them and shame them?

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. How and why the Church distances itself from sexual sinners.
  2. How Jesus upholds the OT law for adultery AND at the same time, ushers in NT grace.
  3. How Jesus is not just the Lord of lords and the Kings of kings, but also the Groom of grooms.

Final Thoughts:
Isn’t that amazing? How Jesus treats people? The way Jesus handles the questions from the pastors, priests, and ministers of His day, to the young proud arrogant self-righteous men holding those stones who just can’t wait to kill someone in the name of OT law, to our main character of this story – the woman caught in adultery.

Better yet, isn’t it amazing how Jesus treats you? If I may, please allow me to ask you some probing questions today:

  • Do you realize or recognize how good you have it?
  • Have you thanked God for your health? What about the things you take for granted every day like the food in the fridge, the gas in the car an the roof over your head.
  • Have you thanked him for your job and the ability to make a living?
  • What about your spouse, friends, and family….no matter how messed up they are?

I gotta tell ya, I love this story of the woman caught in adultery, and I pray that as you read it and re-read it that the Lord reveals new and amazing things each time you do. I also pray that as he reveals His amazing truths to you, that you start to love others just a fraction of how much He loves you. If we call ourselves a Christian we are to love God and to love people and we love people by putting them first, no matter the cost to us.

Lastly, I realize that many of you may be thinking not about the woman caught in adultery, but the man who wasn’t there. Did that strike a chord with you personally? Maybe you could see yourself in his absence. What happened to him? Did he run away or did the religious leaders let him go? Did those two ever talk again? If so what did they say to one another?

I want you to know that I was once that man, myself. A coward who ran from all of life’s responsibilities and relationships. And if wasn’t for Jesus I would still be that man. What changed me? Jesus, through the power of the local church. Jesus, through the community of godly men in my life. What changed me was Jesus through a new life in Him.

The apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:17:
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

God is a God of a Thousand Do-Overs!

Made Perfect in Purity

On Friday we started a new series on sexual purity. We looked at several examples, like what happens when you put bad fuel in your gasoline tank and how that makes your car spit, knock and sputter; how what happens when you download a virus to your computer.

So we defined purity as nothing mixed in. It’s a foreign substance; it’s an enemy. And we applied that definition to our spiritual and sexual lives.

Jesus talks about not mixing anything into our sexual lives in Matthew 5:27-28.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Most of read that passage and immediately feel condemned because we know that we have failed in this area of our lives at some level. That’s why we looked at the tender words of our Heavenly Father in Proverbs 5. Today we continue listening to those tender words from our Father in Prov 6 and 7.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. What do you treasure about life? What do you do with it?
  2. What does it really mean to live? Especially after we have sinned sexually?
  3. The Importance of teaching healthy sexuality

Aren’t those incredibly healing words from our Heavenly Father? He knows the pain that sexuality has brought in our lives. And He even understands the shame…we’ll talk about that later in this lesson.

Ya know, we all have the same story. It goes something like this, “I was once blind, but now I see”. And the only way we can see is because God chose by grace and through love to reveal himself to us, through His Word and His Son.

But what if you can’t see right now. What if things are so messy because of the choices that you made that you can’t tell up from down. How do you respond when the decisions that you have made have hurt so many people – and it’s so interesting that we hurt the very people that we say we love the most.

Well, I know that’s a painful place, but it’s also a beautiful place. To come to the end of your resources and strength and so-called wisdom is a very good place because this is where you get to learn who God really is, and who you truly are as well.

My encouragement to you is to get facedown on the floor every morning before you start your day and pray for God’s mercy and wisdom in your life and then cling to Him with all that you have – your entire being, cling to the Lord Jesus Christ and continue to walk with Him. Never give up.

Made Perfect in Purity

When you hear the word “purity,” what do you think of? If you didn’t grow up in the church, is it an old-fashioned, outdated term to you? If did you grew up in the Church you may think of like a “purity ring.” Regardless, my guess is that it brings to mind something to do with sex or abstinence from sex. But here’s my question, is that definition correct?

In this series, I teach on the subject of purity, what it is and what it means to you and how to apply it to your whole life – not just in the area of sexuality. I want you to think holiness. God is holy. The prophet Isiah writes in Chapter 6:

It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. 2 Attending him were mighty seraphim, each having six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew.  They were calling out to each other,
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!
The whole earth is filled with his glory!”

The Lord is holy. He is different. The word holiness there it means he is “like no other”. And as His sons and daughters, we are to resemble and look like our Father, so.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. What exactly is purity?
  2. What does it mean to “bend your ear” and why that’s important
  3. Why is our Heavenly Father giving us an incredibly power disclaimer in Proverbs 5 before He reveals His truth about purity?

Of course, you guys already knew that committing adultery is a bad idea, but don’t you love the way our Heavenly Father starts this discussion on purity. He knows how uncomfortable this topic is for us. He knows the shame and the guilt that go along with our mistakes. He also knows that everybody at some level in all of human history is broken when it comes to sexuality. And that’s why He is so tender as He starts this discussion.

Tomorrow we’ll see how He does the same thing with Proverbs six and seven as we continue our lesson on how the Lord makes us perfect in purity.

Now many of you are listening right now may be thinking….man, I’m not even close to being pure. Okay, well, just so ya know I’ve been there and felt that way for two very long decades myself so that I can relate. But let me ask you this – “what’s stopping you from being pure today?” Have you believed the lie that this purity stuff and that the Bible is only good for other people and not for you? My friend that is a lie.

Your tomorrow can be very different. You don’t have to feel the weight and the shame of your past any longer. Jesus Christ did not shed his blood on a Roman wooden cross, die the most painful death in all of history, conquer sin and death by walking out of His own grave… for you to stay an addicted Christian!

It is for freedom that Jesus Christ set you free! So what is holding you back? Is waking up in the morning and holding your head high just a pipe dream? Is looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman and not other body parts impossible?

It is – apart from Jesus.

Over my 20 years of being a porn and sex addict, and now my 13 years of being sexually sober, I’ve learned that there must be a structure to my life. A structure that dictates purpose.

So if you are feeling those things, if you are feeling helpless and hopeless, let me encourage you to do something different right now. Let me introduce a structure that will help renew your mind with scripture that focuses on God’s design for sexual purity.

The Audacity of a Genderless Society

An Introduction to the Theology of the Human Body

Today, we start a brand new series. And we are going to dive right into the deep waters of the secular pool here as we look at gender. I give a relatively quick overview of what’s happening in the culture from Hollywood, to department stores – evidently, they have something to say on this issue, the Boy Scouts of America is changing policies because apparently the word “boy” is now offensive.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. How did this issue of gender become so complicated?
  2. Why is it so complicated?
  3. Why should you care?

Isn’t it amazing how, when there is no absolute standard from God, how complicated we as a society, government, educational institutions can make things? Think about it, God in His Word tells from the very beginning that He created people both male and female (Gen. 1:27). There are no other options.

So why are people demanding that they are? It’s called sin. We do not want to admit that there is an all powerful and all knowing God who in perfect truth and wisdom has created a complete order and structure to this world. The Apostle Paul in Romans 1:20 says it this way.
For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. 22 Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. 23 And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.

God calls this mess with gender identity foolish. Think deeply about this. What would happen if you walked into a hospital and told them that you wanted a job because identified as a surgeon? Or walked into a bank, gave the teller a $10 bill and said to her that you identify that bill as a $100 bill. Or went to Washington DC and told the administration that you identified as the President? What would happen? They would haul you off and have you committed to psychiatric help. And yet we are doing the same exact thing with gender. Our government is even passing laws regarding gender.

So, from a Biblical perspective, what do we do as Christians? Pick a fight? Nope, the battle is already on. I would encourage you to have this conversation deepen your belief structure on these issues. Why do you believe what you say you believe? And here’s the thing, can you confidently and calmly explain your Bible-based belief structure in love and not condemnation? Can you explain the Biblical perspective that they can’t understand? That’s what I would encourage you to do because this conversation is not going away.

Consequences of the Sexual Revolution – Part 2

STD's, Adoption Services, Foster Care and Pornography

Today we continue our conversation on the consequences of the sexual revolution that we are currently living in. We move through a lot of different topics quickly – things like adoption services and foster care. We discuss some stats on porn that are so overwhelming that no one believes them – especially Church leadership.

We also discuss some health issues related to pornography that includes excessive masturbation. If you have kids in their 20’s or are working with or ministering to that age group, you’ll find this information fascinating.

Lastly, we’ll discuss the power of Entertainment, and how an animated movie can cause such an uproar regarding the lead character’s sexuality.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three specific things:

  1. How do you explain what lesbianism is to your six-year-old daughter?
  2. Just exactly how much porn is on the Internet?
  3. How has the church sinned against our LGBT friends?

Final Thoughts:
There is indeed no specific chapter and verse for many of these topics that we are discussing today. It sure would have been simple for the Lord to include a spreadsheet attached to the end of our Bible that listed these issues with the chapter and verse, huh?

Well, I’m not so sure it’s about simplicity. When we talk about sexuality, we are in the messiness of life. I would encourage you to make the most out of your devotional time or quiet time and ask the Lord these hard questions. Use God’s Word on a daily basis to renew your mind. Ask God to give you wisdom in these areas along with talking to Christ-centered people in your life.

Personally, I like this messiness. I love the fact that we as Christians are challenged to think deeply about and pray through the things we say we believe. These issues should sharpen us as the Church. I see this as an opportunity to re-evaluate our theology. And to make sure that we are communicating what we believe clearly and in a loving manner.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Consequences of the Sexual Revolution

Isn’t it amazing how time flies when you’re having fun?! I can not believe it’s been seven months since our last podcast! I thought it would take about a month or so to finish this book and it ended up taking seven. Go figure.

Well, the good news is that the book is done. It’s called The Sex Spiral: Forgiven and Free from Pornography and prayerfully will be released in January. More on that later.

I want you to know that I have missed you! I pray that you went back and listened to the archive of radio shows and podcasts as we have over two hundred episodes now.

Well, let’s pick right back up where we left off again in March as we were discussing the sexual revolution. Today we’ll be talking about the consequences that come from such a revolution.

We don’t hear much about the consequences of sexual sin, do we? We don’t even like the word, “sin,” do we? Well, like it or not there are consequences when we step outside the boundaries of God’s design for sex, marriage and the family and part of those consequences are STD’s. Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

I was corrected in a class I was teaching last year. Someone raised their hand and said that the correct term is now STI’s. Sexually Transmitted Infections. After a bit of research, evidently, the medical community would like to clear up the confusion that all STD’s don’t lead to disease.

But from a Christian worldview, we must dig deeper and realize that there is great shame in having an STD. The secular medical community recognizes this, but won’t openly admit to it.

It seems more convenient to change the terminology. From their perspective will erase the shame. After all, It’s much better to have an infection than a disease. In which, I agree. But the question remains – how does the medical community communicate the best way not to get an STI that could lead to an STD? By safe sex? What does that even mean?

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. The Slippery Slope Theory – what is it?
  2. What is morally right when we discuss sexuality?
  3. Why are consequences of sexual sin like a Tsunami wave?

Closing Thoughts:

What is the cure to solving 20 million cases of sexually transmitted infections each year in the US? What is the cure to saving 16 billion dollars in healthcare costs? What is the remedy to the shame involved with having an STD?

It’s the Word of God my friends. God’s design for sex is only within the context of a Biblical marriage as defined in Genesis 2:24. One biological man and one biological woman in a committed relationship called marriage for life.

And for someone who stepped out, around and over that boundary for two decades, I can only pray that you don’t have to go through what I did to realize that God is not trying to squash your sex life. Instead, He is trying to save you a lot of pain so that you can experience true intimacy with first Himself and then your spouse.  I’m reminded of something Pastor James Macdonald says, “When God says don’t, He means don’t hurt yourself.”

My Introduction to Sexuality

What NOT To Do!

I don’t know about you, but I have literally spent most of my prayer life telling God what to do. As if, the Creator of the Universe – the One Who speaks things into existence from nothing, the One Who splits oceans in half, heals the blind and raises the dead needs any suggestions from yours truly.

In today’s podcast, we are going to start a brand new series titled The Sexual Revolution. This is a teaching that I conducted at Gateway Seminary in Scottsdale, Az. I start this lesson off by discussing THE most important lesson I could ever teach – and that is how to pray by listening to God – it’s called Tithing Our Time.

Secondly, before I start this series, I wanted these students to understand where I was coming from before I started teaching the actual sexuality material. So I begin the lesson by sharing part of my story – how I was personally introduced to sexuality. Maybe some of you will be able to relate, I hope not because it was a very dysfunctional and unhealthy way to be taught about sex. But more importantly, I pray that as I share my story, you will be able to learn from it.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three things:

  1. How to pray by listening to God.
  2. We’ll touch on a book by John Eldridge called, Fathered By God
  3. How sexual sin makes you really – REALLY – stupid.

Sex After Kids

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Five

I had a dad tell me the other day that his kids were ruining his life. He said it with a grin so I knew that he was only half kidding.

I then asked him if he agreed with Psalm 127:3,

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

“Yes”, he said. “It just seems like the reward of children is overwhelming most of the time!”

Do you feel like that? Overwhelmed with the kids, frantic when you get to work and then it seems like you aren’t able to get anything done because your mind is on the kids? Then you rush home to drive the kids all around the city because of their extra curricular activities, and by the time everyone finally gets home for the day it’s 9pm. Needless to say that everyone is hungry, grumpy and tired. Oh, and this is the first time you’ve seen your spouse all day…and he just happens to have that “lovin’ feeling” in the twinkle of his eye.

So, how do you pursue sex with your spouse after having kids? What does sexual intimacy look like during this season of your life? We wrap up our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray today discussing her new book Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. How sex with your spouse is the culmination of everything else in your life. In other words, how does sex reveal what other things are healthy or unhealthy with your spouse?
  2. Husbands, how sensitive are you to your wife’s sexual needs?
  3. Why it’s important to have Father’s SPEAK into the lives of their daughters.

To Spank or Not To Spank?

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Four

When it comes to raising children, one of the most controversial issues parents can discuss is whether or not they should spank their children or not.

Fortunately, God has a lot to say about this:

Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them. – Proverbs 23:13

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. – Proverbs 13:24

Wow! That seems well, ummm…pretty straight forward. But let’s make sure we don’t take these pieces of scripture out of context. What else does God’s Word have to say about this form of discipline? These passages certainly answer the question as to “why” you should discipline your children, but what about the “when” question.

Well, my guest today has tremendous insight – Godly insight full of grace and truth that every parent should hear. We continue our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray discussing her new book Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three things:

  1. The Church’s view on spanking vs. the world’s view.
  2. Is anti-spanking being anti-discipline?
  3. Can you spank your children and still remain inside the realm of grace?