My Introduction to Sexuality

What NOT To Do!

I don’t know about you, but I have literally spent most of my prayer life telling God what to do. As if, the Creator of the Universe – the One Who speaks things into existence from nothing, the One Who splits oceans in half, heals the blind and raises the dead needs any suggestions from yours truly.

In today’s podcast, we are going to start a brand new series titled The Sexual Revolution. This is a teaching that I conducted at Gateway Seminary in Scottsdale, Az. I start this lesson off by discussing THE most important lesson I could ever teach – and that is how to pray by listening to God – it’s called Tithing Our Time.

Secondly, before I start this series, I wanted these students to understand where I was coming from before I started teaching the actual sexuality material. So I begin the lesson by sharing part of my story – how I was personally introduced to sexuality. Maybe some of you will be able to relate, I hope not because it was a very dysfunctional and unhealthy way to be taught about sex. But more importantly, I pray that as I share my story, you will be able to learn from it.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three things:

  1. How to pray by listening to God.
  2. We’ll touch on a book by John Eldridge called, Fathered By God
  3. How sexual sin makes you really – REALLY – stupid.

Sex After Kids

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Five

I had a dad tell me the other day that his kids were ruining his life. He said it with a grin so I knew that he was only half kidding.

I then asked him if he agreed with Psalm 127:3,

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

“Yes”, he said. “It just seems like the reward of children is overwhelming most of the time!”

Do you feel like that? Overwhelmed with the kids, frantic when you get to work and then it seems like you aren’t able to get anything done because your mind is on the kids? Then you rush home to drive the kids all around the city because of their extra curricular activities, and by the time everyone finally gets home for the day it’s 9pm. Needless to say that everyone is hungry, grumpy and tired. Oh, and this is the first time you’ve seen your spouse all day…and he just happens to have that “lovin’ feeling” in the twinkle of his eye.

So, how do you pursue sex with your spouse after having kids? What does sexual intimacy look like during this season of your life? We wrap up our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray today discussing her new book Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. How sex with your spouse is the culmination of everything else in your life. In other words, how does sex reveal what other things are healthy or unhealthy with your spouse?
  2. Husbands, how sensitive are you to your wife’s sexual needs?
  3. Why it’s important to have Father’s SPEAK into the lives of their daughters.

To Spank or Not To Spank?

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Four

When it comes to raising children, one of the most controversial issues parents can discuss is whether or not they should spank their children or not.

Fortunately, God has a lot to say about this:

Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them. – Proverbs 23:13

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. – Proverbs 13:24

Wow! That seems well, ummm…pretty straight forward. But let’s make sure we don’t take these pieces of scripture out of context. What else does God’s Word have to say about this form of discipline? These passages certainly answer the question as to “why” you should discipline your children, but what about the “when” question.

Well, my guest today has tremendous insight – Godly insight full of grace and truth that every parent should hear. We continue our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray discussing her new book Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three things:

  1. The Church’s view on spanking vs. the world’s view.
  2. Is anti-spanking being anti-discipline?
  3. Can you spank your children and still remain inside the realm of grace?

The Difference Between Discipline & Punishment

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Three

Do you know the difference between disciplining your children and punishing your children? Maybe a better question is, do your children know the difference?

Today, we continue our conversation with Karis Kimmel Murray on our series of Grace Based Discipline. She has a new book titled, Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss four things:

  1. The specific differences between discipline and punishment.
  2. Some of the natural consequences of discipline.
  3. How to set up different categories of rules and violations for your children’s behavior.
  4. How to implement a Family Rules Summit.

How to Separate Your Child From Their Behavior

Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst - Part Two

So there you are, in the checkout aisle of your favorite grocery store and your mission has been successful – groceries without one of the kids creating a scene of any kind…

Well, that is until your six year old sees his favorite candy bar. He asks if he can have it. You politely tell him “no” because you’re getting ready to go home and fix lunch with all the new groceries that are in the cart.

He asks again, this time with a little more whine in his voice. You give him the parental “mom look”. All of a sudden his bottom lip begins to quiver… and “BAM!” Meltdown on aisle three. So close, but yet so far away.

How do you handle those situations? Well, my guest today, Karis Kimmel Murray has some sage advice for those of us that find ourselves in that predicament. She has a new book titled, Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss five things:

1) How parents are the “first responders” to your child’s crisis.
2) Introducing the “mental basket” method.
3) The difference between labeling your child and prophesying over your child.
4) How to “tag” your child’s behavior.
5) How to see your child the way God see’s them.

Grace Based Discipline

How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst

I had so much fun interviewing Dr. Tim Kimmel last week with Family Matters, I had to go back and interview his daughter Karis Kimmel Murray.

Karis just released her first book title Grace Based Discipline: How To Be At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst. Karis writes and speaks as a voice to the next generation of parents. She also co-hosts The Family Matters Minute, a nationally syndicated one-minute radio segment heard by millions of listeners every day. To learn more about Karis and her new book, visit Family Matters.net.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. A blueprint of grace.
  2. Why grace is a radical concept especially when it comes to discipline.
  3. The difference between grace and mercy.

Grace in the Marriage Bed

A Grace Filled Marriage with Tim Kimmel - Part Four

As the old saying goes, “all good things must come to an end.” And that is certainly the case today. Today we are wrapping our conversation with Dr. Tim Kimmel of Family Matters discussing his book Grace Filled Marriage. Tim has answered many questions over the past several decades when it comes to all different sorts of family matters…including sex.

In his book, Grace Filled Marriage, Tim talks about grace filled sex. He discusses how our sexual relationship with our spouse is a litmus test on how serious we are about being an agent of God’s grace. He also talks about what grace filled sex is not. Things like using sex as manipulation, using sex as a reward, punishment and even obligation. At the end of this podcast, I’ll let you know more about Tim’s resources at Family Matters.

  1. In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:
    How indifference can first start in a marriage.
  2. When does a husband deserve sex?
  3. Why it’s rare that husband’s and wives are on the same page sexually.
  4. Hasn’t this time with Dr. Tim Kimmel been great?  He is so much fun, and let me encourage you to visit Tim’s ministry website at Family Matters Dot Net.  He has dozens of materials for you and your family.

    Some of the resources that I’ve found that have been incredibly helpful to me personally have been: Grace Based Parenting and a book called Basic Training: For a Few Good Men.

    There are dozens of other resources when it comes to marriage and family so let me encourage you to visit Family Matters.

Learning to Thrive Through the Gritty Seasons of Life

A Grace Filled Marriage with Tim Kimmel - Part Three

A few months back, I was invited to a wedding anniversary.  Now, this wasn’t just any anniversary,  it was the big FIVE-O for Steve & Barbara Uhlmann.  Fifty years of wedding bliss is how we like think of these celebrations, isn’t it? This also wasn’t just any celebration either.  Steve and Barbara actually published a book called “Plastic Promises” and they talk about what their marriage was really made of.  They also gave this book away to everyone who attended.

My friend Tim Kimmel, who you’ve been getting to know over the past few days was also there. Today we both talk about the grace that not only held that marriage together, but the grace that was in that room with over two hundred people in attendance.

In today’s podcast, we’re going to continue our conversation on grace. We’ll discuss three things:

  1. Introduce you to Steve and Barbara Uhlmann
  2. How the commitment of marriage is not just to your spouse, but to God.
  3. How many couples are not divorced but indifferent.

An Introduction to Grace Based Discipline

A Grace Filled Marriage with Tim Kimmel - Part Two

What is the missing ingredient to the Christian life?  This ingredient can be used with any relationship at any time.  We talked about it a lot in yesterdays’ podcast featuring Dr. Tim Kimmel of Family MattersDo you remember…YES, It’s grace!  Who doesn’t want more grace in our lives?  Well, Believe it or not, did you know that grace can even be applied when disciplining children?

Not only in disciplining children, but as I conducted this interview it occurred to me that we need more grace in all forms of discipline.  If you’re married, it certainly starts at home with your spouse and your children.  But what about the other things that you are to other people.  We all have different roles depending on what the relationship is, right?.  Maybe you’re whether you’re a coach, a boss, teacher…anyone in authority over others.

1 Peter 5

Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. 3 Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. 4 And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.

In today’s podcast, we’re going to continue our conversation on grace. We’ll discuss three things.

  1. What a “Wind Dummy” is and why its important
  2. How we confine God’s grace to salvation
  3. How not to confuse grace with being nice.

It really is amazing to see how God uses grace in our lives.  For Tim’s daughter Karis, who by her own admission, was her parent’s “Wind Dummy” for all this grace based everything in their lives.  It’s so cool to hear about a new chapter –  a new legacy – for the ministry of Family Matters.

Have you ever been a “Wind Dummy”?  I have, and it wasn’t for something cool like grace.  I was a Wind Dummy for my mother’s training on how to be a hair stylist.  LOL!  She went to Barber school and my brother and I were the guniea pigs for that.  I won’t give you the details, but let’s just say that there is a reason I’m now bald.  Coincidence…I think not.  One too many perms, too many variations of the mullet!  No, my mom is an amazing hair stylist and been doing that now for well over thirty years, but I digress.

The Missing Ingredient in Marriage

A Grace Filled Marriage with Tim Kimmel - Part One

Today we begin a new series, and it’s on the subject of grace. There is no other place to where grace is needed more than inside our… marriages.  And since marriage and sex are two sides of the same coin, we desperately need to learn and apply grace in our daily lives.

Now for my single friends listening, please don’t think that this message doesn’t apply to you.  It applies to all of us, we can use these principles in our friendships, family relationships, at work and school.  There is no place that grace is not welcome! Last month I had the opportunity to talk with a friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Tim Kimmel. 

Tim is the founder and Executive Director of Family Matters, whose goal is to see families transformed by God’s grace into instruments of reformation and restoration. Tim loves it when churches and families are healthy and strong. He loves it even more when they work as a team. He believes the best way to pass on saving faith and a transformed life is within the nurturing confines of a loving home. To help others achieve this, he has developed resources, conferences, and media tools to equip and encourage parents, grandparents, churches, and couples.

In today’s podcast we’ll discuss three things.

  1. How marriage is the proving ground for our own character
  2. How Jesus Christ actually proposed to His Church
  3. The very definition of what love is.

Marriage is good, noble and transformative work. So, let me ask you, what part – what aspect of your marriage are you going to work on now after listening to this podcast?  What element of your marriage, friendship, maybe a brother or sister….or a co-worker at your job – what part of you can extend more grace to these people?