The Seven Places That Will Set You Sexually Free

Made Perfect in Purity

We wrap up our study on being Made Perfect in Purity today. We started off in the Old Testament by defining what purity is, we studied Prov 5, 6, and 7 and heard the tenderness of our Heavenly Father. We then moved to the New Testament and looked at the incredible story of Jesus and the woman who was caught in adultery. Now we get to see how all of this comes together to a fantastic conclusion.

I mentioned several days ago that Jesus knows the pain and shame that goes with your sexual sin. Today we learn how He did that.

In today’s podcast, We’ll learn…

  1. Why Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” who is the only one who can take away sin.
  2. Why Jesus bled from seven places for our lack of purity.
  3. What a lesson like this should drive us to do in response.


Worship is indeed the only thing that we can do when we see and feel the weight/gravity of what the Lord Jesus Christ has done in our lives. Worship and gratefulness and thankfulness.

I love preaching that message because as I go through those seven places, I have the incredible privilege of having a front row seat to watch the Lord set people free by the power of the Holy Spirit. People’s eyes just well up with tears and God lets them know that they are indeed forgiven and free.

How about you? Have you come to the place where the chains have been broken, and you’re not carrying around the baggage of sexual sin anymore? If not, why? Do you think it’s not possible? Or is it that you still love your sin too much?

Neither Do I

Made Perfect in Purity

Are you getting a better idea of what the word “purity” truly means? Well, I pray that the Lord continues to teach you in this area of purity and holiness as we press on with our discussion of how God makes us Perfect in Purity.

We’ve been reading in Proverbs for the last several days studying chapters 5, 6 and 7 which is part of the Old Testament. Today we move to the New Testament and ask the question, How exactly did Jesus handle people who were sexual sinners? Did He yell at them and shame them?

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. How and why the Church distances itself from sexual sinners.
  2. How Jesus upholds the OT law for adultery AND at the same time, ushers in NT grace.
  3. How Jesus is not just the Lord of lords and the Kings of kings, but also the Groom of grooms.

Final Thoughts:
Isn’t that amazing? How Jesus treats people? The way Jesus handles the questions from the pastors, priests, and ministers of His day, to the young proud arrogant self-righteous men holding those stones who just can’t wait to kill someone in the name of OT law, to our main character of this story – the woman caught in adultery.

Better yet, isn’t it amazing how Jesus treats you? If I may, please allow me to ask you some probing questions today:

  • Do you realize or recognize how good you have it?
  • Have you thanked God for your health? What about the things you take for granted every day like the food in the fridge, the gas in the car an the roof over your head.
  • Have you thanked him for your job and the ability to make a living?
  • What about your spouse, friends, and family….no matter how messed up they are?

I gotta tell ya, I love this story of the woman caught in adultery, and I pray that as you read it and re-read it that the Lord reveals new and amazing things each time you do. I also pray that as he reveals His amazing truths to you, that you start to love others just a fraction of how much He loves you. If we call ourselves a Christian we are to love God and to love people and we love people by putting them first, no matter the cost to us.

Lastly, I realize that many of you may be thinking not about the woman caught in adultery, but the man who wasn’t there. Did that strike a chord with you personally? Maybe you could see yourself in his absence. What happened to him? Did he run away or did the religious leaders let him go? Did those two ever talk again? If so what did they say to one another?

I want you to know that I was once that man, myself. A coward who ran from all of life’s responsibilities and relationships. And if wasn’t for Jesus I would still be that man. What changed me? Jesus, through the power of the local church. Jesus, through the community of godly men in my life. What changed me was Jesus through a new life in Him.

The apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:17:
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

God is a God of a Thousand Do-Overs!

Made Perfect in Purity

On Friday we started a new series on sexual purity. We looked at several examples, like what happens when you put bad fuel in your gasoline tank and how that makes your car spit, knock and sputter; how what happens when you download a virus to your computer.

So we defined purity as nothing mixed in. It’s a foreign substance; it’s an enemy. And we applied that definition to our spiritual and sexual lives.

Jesus talks about not mixing anything into our sexual lives in Matthew 5:27-28.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Most of read that passage and immediately feel condemned because we know that we have failed in this area of our lives at some level. That’s why we looked at the tender words of our Heavenly Father in Proverbs 5. Today we continue listening to those tender words from our Father in Prov 6 and 7.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. What do you treasure about life? What do you do with it?
  2. What does it really mean to live? Especially after we have sinned sexually?
  3. The Importance of teaching healthy sexuality

Aren’t those incredibly healing words from our Heavenly Father? He knows the pain that sexuality has brought in our lives. And He even understands the shame…we’ll talk about that later in this lesson.

Ya know, we all have the same story. It goes something like this, “I was once blind, but now I see”. And the only way we can see is because God chose by grace and through love to reveal himself to us, through His Word and His Son.

But what if you can’t see right now. What if things are so messy because of the choices that you made that you can’t tell up from down. How do you respond when the decisions that you have made have hurt so many people – and it’s so interesting that we hurt the very people that we say we love the most.

Well, I know that’s a painful place, but it’s also a beautiful place. To come to the end of your resources and strength and so-called wisdom is a very good place because this is where you get to learn who God really is, and who you truly are as well.

My encouragement to you is to get facedown on the floor every morning before you start your day and pray for God’s mercy and wisdom in your life and then cling to Him with all that you have – your entire being, cling to the Lord Jesus Christ and continue to walk with Him. Never give up.

Made Perfect in Purity

When you hear the word “purity,” what do you think of? If you didn’t grow up in the church, is it an old-fashioned, outdated term to you? If did you grew up in the Church you may think of like a “purity ring.” Regardless, my guess is that it brings to mind something to do with sex or abstinence from sex. But here’s my question, is that definition correct?

In this series, I teach on the subject of purity, what it is and what it means to you and how to apply it to your whole life – not just in the area of sexuality. I want you to think holiness. God is holy. The prophet Isiah writes in Chapter 6:

It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. 2 Attending him were mighty seraphim, each having six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew.  They were calling out to each other,
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!
The whole earth is filled with his glory!”

The Lord is holy. He is different. The word holiness there it means he is “like no other”. And as His sons and daughters, we are to resemble and look like our Father, so.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. What exactly is purity?
  2. What does it mean to “bend your ear” and why that’s important
  3. Why is our Heavenly Father giving us an incredibly power disclaimer in Proverbs 5 before He reveals His truth about purity?

Of course, you guys already knew that committing adultery is a bad idea, but don’t you love the way our Heavenly Father starts this discussion on purity. He knows how uncomfortable this topic is for us. He knows the shame and the guilt that go along with our mistakes. He also knows that everybody at some level in all of human history is broken when it comes to sexuality. And that’s why He is so tender as He starts this discussion.

Tomorrow we’ll see how He does the same thing with Proverbs six and seven as we continue our lesson on how the Lord makes us perfect in purity.

Now many of you are listening right now may be thinking….man, I’m not even close to being pure. Okay, well, just so ya know I’ve been there and felt that way for two very long decades myself so that I can relate. But let me ask you this – “what’s stopping you from being pure today?” Have you believed the lie that this purity stuff and that the Bible is only good for other people and not for you? My friend that is a lie.

Your tomorrow can be very different. You don’t have to feel the weight and the shame of your past any longer. Jesus Christ did not shed his blood on a Roman wooden cross, die the most painful death in all of history, conquer sin and death by walking out of His own grave… for you to stay an addicted Christian!

It is for freedom that Jesus Christ set you free! So what is holding you back? Is waking up in the morning and holding your head high just a pipe dream? Is looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman and not other body parts impossible?

It is – apart from Jesus.

Over my 20 years of being a porn and sex addict, and now my 13 years of being sexually sober, I’ve learned that there must be a structure to my life. A structure that dictates purpose.

So if you are feeling those things, if you are feeling helpless and hopeless, let me encourage you to do something different right now. Let me introduce a structure that will help renew your mind with scripture that focuses on God’s design for sexual purity.

What To Do After The Fall-Out of Sexual Sin?

Reflections Within the Diary of my Darkest Days

Today we wrap our series on Proverbs 5. It has been a reflection within the diary of my darkest days, as you have heard me share some personal stories from my life – things not to do – that’s for sure.

We also read Proverbs 5 verse by verse and discussed what the Lord has to say about sexual sin. Surprisingly, we heard the tenderness of a Father giving us a strict warning. He then turned into a Prophet, and out of love, He told us exactly what will happen if we didn’t run away from the adulteress.

It’s so interesting as just today, I was listening to an old sermon from J. Vernon McGee as he was preaching out of Revelation 16 & 17, and he said this – that “sex and false religion are related.” I find that fascinating because Dr. McGee died in 1988. And when we look at the correlation between sex and false religion, sex and everybody’s individual rights in our culture, we see that to be more and truer today than ever.

All that to say, if you are attending a church that is preaching anything besides Gen 2:24 when it comes to marriage and sexuality, I would encourage you to run. It is a false religion. Genesis 2:24 is one biological man and one biological woman in a covenant relationship called marriage. Sex and marriage are two sides of the same coin.

But I digress.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. Why you should confess your sexual sin
  2. How the blood of Jesus cleanses you from your sexual sin
  3. What to do after you have confessed your sexual sin

Final Thoughts:

Let’s make this personal. Do you have sin to confess, but don’t have someone to confess it to?Well, I would encourage you to pray and ask the Lord who that person is. If you’re married, it needs to be your spouse. Sooner or later she is going to find out; the Lord promises that in Scripture. Most likely, she already knows something’s wrong. She may not know precisely what it is, but she probably knows something is not right. And believe me when I say that it’s always better to confess it, rather than getting caught and her finding out that way.

Now, I would suggest you be pro-active and find a Christ-centered counselor to facilitate that conversation. It will be a life-changing conversation, and yes it will hurt. And it should hurt, because you have hurt many people through your disobedience. But I can tell you from experience that when you confess and bring all this darkness out into the light, God will honor that, and He will change your life forever.

The Results of an Undisciplined Man

Reflections Within the Diary of my Darkest Days

We have been walking through Proverbs Chapter 5 all week long. I pray that it has been a blessing to you so far. I gotta tell ya that I do find it interesting, somewhat comical, and at times utterly ironic that King Solomon would write a lot of the book of Proverbs. This is a guy who evidently likes to plan weddings because he was in a lot of them! Doesn’t that just show the faithfulness of God? We look at how unfaithful and defiant King Solomon was, and yet God was still faithful to him. We could say that about our own lives, couldn’t we?

Well, I started off this lesson with some reflections on my personal life. I call them “my darkest days.” If you didn’t hear that show, it’s called “Why committing adultery is never a good idea” and today you’ll hear the end of the story of what happened after I walked out of that closet with a loaded gun in my hand.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. Why it’s a good idea to examine our motives and the choices that lie before us.
  2. Learn why anger and sexual sin are two sides of the same coin.
  3. How you are wasting your life on you – and the final results of that.

Final Thoughts:

I was teaching men at a men’s retreat during this lesson and asking them those questions, but let’s now focus on you now – what do ya say? Where exactly on this map toward sexual integrity are you? Does anyone know of your struggle? Regardless of what the struggle is, you don’t have to stay where you are. Next year can look a whole lot different in your life, but it does start by what you do today. It starts by renewing your mind.

The Apostle Paul writes this in Romans 12:1-2:
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

The Father’s Prophetic Words on Adultery

Reflections Within The Diary of my Darkest Days

We continue our study in Proverbs 5 today. Yesterday we heard the tone of a loving Father saying “don’t do this”. But if you do – if you engage with this immoral woman – you are only going to hurt yourself. And starting in verse 9, the Lord becomes prophetic. He becomes very specific in what will happens in and to our lives when we choose to act out in sexual sin.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things: 1) What exactly are you living your life for? What do you want to be remembered for? 2) How do you build spiritual muscle when it comes to sexual integrity? 3) How do you receive spiritual blessings within sexuality?

Sex is not about sex. From a worldly perspective, sex is about power and abuse. It’s about demeaning women. Pornography indeed shows us that 50% of Internet porn contains some violence and abuse toward women.

From a Biblical perspective, sex is the physical manifestation of a spiritual reality. One question I like to ask when I speak is, What is sex? I usually get a couple of giggles, laughs, and snickers from the audience as their thinking, “how’s this guy going to teach us about sex if he doesn’t even know what it is?!”

Let me ask it another way – Why does God use marriage as an analogy to illustrate His relationship to us? Why marriage, why the most profound and intimate relationship? From Genesis to Revelation, we read about God weaving this theme in and out. Why?

Marriage is a symbol of the commitment that He has made to you. He will never leave or forsake you. I pray that you would ask the Lord to reveal this amazing truth as you read scripture and walk with Him today.

The Tenderness of our Heavenly Father

Reflections Within The Diary of my Darkest Days

We are going to continue our study of Proverbs 5 today that we started on Friday. I think its so cool that in this chapter of Scripture, that we see how tender the Lord is with us as He engages in this conversation about sexuality.

Unfortunately, tenderness is not a word that we usually associate with the church teaching us about sex is it? When the church does teach sexuality, its pretty cold, informal and dogmatic. Let’s just face it; it’s weird and uncomfortable.

But that’s not how Jesus did it. When you look at the story of the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4 and the woman caught in adultery in John 8, we see how unbelievably tender Jesus is. He treats both of those women with the utmost respect and demonstrates that He alone is full of grace and truth. I pray that you hear that same tenderness in Proverbs 5 as we walk through it.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. How this “forbidden woman” that’s mentioned in Proverbs 5:3 is pornography for most men.
  2. The difference between a single-edged and a double edge sword and the danger between the two.
  3. How sexual sin is the easiest and fastest way to ruin your life and legacy.

Final Thoughts:

Do you find yourself flirting with a beautiful stranger right now? Maybe’s someone’s flirting with you. Are you keeping your way far from her? Well, be sure to listen to tomorrow’s podcast as we’ll find out what happens when we don’t keep our way far from her – when we don’t run away – when we don’t flee the situation.

Why Committing Adultery is Never a Good Idea

Reflections Within The Diary of my Darkest Days

Today we start a new series in the book of Proverbs, and I think you are going to enjoy this. I firmly believe that if Jesus were to come back today and choose to have just one face to face conversation with you, it would be on this topic of sexual integrity.

In this series, I’m speaking to a group of men at a retreat, and I take them through Proverbs chapter 5. I start off this series with a story about me and my stupidity when I was committing adultery. I’m not proud of it. I’m ashamed of it. I’m ashamed of who I used to be, the choices that I made and all the people that I hurt along the way. So, I pray that the Lord reveals some amazing things to you personally through this series.


In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. Why I was hiding in a closet like a coward holding a loaded gun
  2. How and why this teaching comes from my defying God and then obeying God.

Final Thoughts:

As I look over my shoulder, I must tell you; I just can’t get over the faithfulness of God. All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. How many things? All things! I can’t get over how the Lord protected me from me. Have you ever thanked and praised God for protecting you from your stupidity? Well, let me encourage you to do that right now. In fact, let me encourage you to worship Him for the rest of today.

Tomorrow we’ll dive into Proverbs 5 verses 1-8, and I’ll simply walk you through the loving and tender words of our Heavenly Father as he teaches us about sexuality and adultery.

My Introduction to Sexuality

What NOT To Do!

I don’t know about you, but I have literally spent most of my prayer life telling God what to do. As if, the Creator of the Universe – the One Who speaks things into existence from nothing, the One Who splits oceans in half, heals the blind and raises the dead needs any suggestions from yours truly.

In today’s podcast, we are going to start a brand new series titled The Sexual Revolution. This is a teaching that I conducted at Gateway Seminary in Scottsdale, Az. I start this lesson off by discussing THE most important lesson I could ever teach – and that is how to pray by listening to God – it’s called Tithing Our Time.

Secondly, before I start this series, I wanted these students to understand where I was coming from before I started teaching the actual sexuality material. So I begin the lesson by sharing part of my story – how I was personally introduced to sexuality. Maybe some of you will be able to relate, I hope not because it was a very dysfunctional and unhealthy way to be taught about sex. But more importantly, I pray that as I share my story, you will be able to learn from it.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three things:

  1. How to pray by listening to God.
  2. We’ll touch on a book by John Eldridge called, Fathered By God
  3. How sexual sin makes you really – REALLY – stupid.