The Results of an Undisciplined Man

Reflections Within the Diary of my Darkest Days

We have been walking through Proverbs Chapter 5 all week long. I pray that it has been a blessing to you so far. I gotta tell ya that I do find it interesting, somewhat comical, and at times utterly ironic that King Solomon would write a lot of the book of Proverbs. This is a guy who evidently likes to plan weddings because he was in a lot of them! Doesn’t that just show the faithfulness of God? We look at how unfaithful and defiant King Solomon was, and yet God was still faithful to him. We could say that about our own lives, couldn’t we?

Well, I started off this lesson with some reflections on my personal life. I call them “my darkest days.” If you didn’t hear that show, it’s called “Why committing adultery is never a good idea” and today you’ll hear the end of the story of what happened after I walked out of that closet with a loaded gun in my hand.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. Why it’s a good idea to examine our motives and the choices that lie before us.
  2. Learn why anger and sexual sin are two sides of the same coin.
  3. How you are wasting your life on you – and the final results of that.

Final Thoughts:

I was teaching men at a men’s retreat during this lesson and asking them those questions, but let’s now focus on you now – what do ya say? Where exactly on this map toward sexual integrity are you? Does anyone know of your struggle? Regardless of what the struggle is, you don’t have to stay where you are. Next year can look a whole lot different in your life, but it does start by what you do today. It starts by renewing your mind.

The Apostle Paul writes this in Romans 12:1-2:
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

The Father’s Prophetic Words on Adultery

Reflections Within The Diary of my Darkest Days

We continue our study in Proverbs 5 today. Yesterday we heard the tone of a loving Father saying “don’t do this”. But if you do – if you engage with this immoral woman – you are only going to hurt yourself. And starting in verse 9, the Lord becomes prophetic. He becomes very specific in what will happens in and to our lives when we choose to act out in sexual sin.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things: 1) What exactly are you living your life for? What do you want to be remembered for? 2) How do you build spiritual muscle when it comes to sexual integrity? 3) How do you receive spiritual blessings within sexuality?

Sex is not about sex. From a worldly perspective, sex is about power and abuse. It’s about demeaning women. Pornography indeed shows us that 50% of Internet porn contains some violence and abuse toward women.

From a Biblical perspective, sex is the physical manifestation of a spiritual reality. One question I like to ask when I speak is, What is sex? I usually get a couple of giggles, laughs, and snickers from the audience as their thinking, “how’s this guy going to teach us about sex if he doesn’t even know what it is?!”

Let me ask it another way – Why does God use marriage as an analogy to illustrate His relationship to us? Why marriage, why the most profound and intimate relationship? From Genesis to Revelation, we read about God weaving this theme in and out. Why?

Marriage is a symbol of the commitment that He has made to you. He will never leave or forsake you. I pray that you would ask the Lord to reveal this amazing truth as you read scripture and walk with Him today.

The Tenderness of our Heavenly Father

Reflections Within The Diary of my Darkest Days

We are going to continue our study of Proverbs 5 today that we started on Friday. I think its so cool that in this chapter of Scripture, that we see how tender the Lord is with us as He engages in this conversation about sexuality.

Unfortunately, tenderness is not a word that we usually associate with the church teaching us about sex is it? When the church does teach sexuality, its pretty cold, informal and dogmatic. Let’s just face it; it’s weird and uncomfortable.

But that’s not how Jesus did it. When you look at the story of the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4 and the woman caught in adultery in John 8, we see how unbelievably tender Jesus is. He treats both of those women with the utmost respect and demonstrates that He alone is full of grace and truth. I pray that you hear that same tenderness in Proverbs 5 as we walk through it.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. How this “forbidden woman” that’s mentioned in Proverbs 5:3 is pornography for most men.
  2. The difference between a single-edged and a double edge sword and the danger between the two.
  3. How sexual sin is the easiest and fastest way to ruin your life and legacy.

Final Thoughts:

Do you find yourself flirting with a beautiful stranger right now? Maybe’s someone’s flirting with you. Are you keeping your way far from her? Well, be sure to listen to tomorrow’s podcast as we’ll find out what happens when we don’t keep our way far from her – when we don’t run away – when we don’t flee the situation.

Why Committing Adultery is Never a Good Idea

Reflections Within The Diary of my Darkest Days

Today we start a new series in the book of Proverbs, and I think you are going to enjoy this. I firmly believe that if Jesus were to come back today and choose to have just one face to face conversation with you, it would be on this topic of sexual integrity.

In this series, I’m speaking to a group of men at a retreat, and I take them through Proverbs chapter 5. I start off this series with a story about me and my stupidity when I was committing adultery. I’m not proud of it. I’m ashamed of it. I’m ashamed of who I used to be, the choices that I made and all the people that I hurt along the way. So, I pray that the Lord reveals some amazing things to you personally through this series.

 

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

  1. Why I was hiding in a closet like a coward holding a loaded gun
  2. How and why this teaching comes from my defying God and then obeying God.

Final Thoughts:

As I look over my shoulder, I must tell you; I just can’t get over the faithfulness of God. All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. How many things? All things! I can’t get over how the Lord protected me from me. Have you ever thanked and praised God for protecting you from your stupidity? Well, let me encourage you to do that right now. In fact, let me encourage you to worship Him for the rest of today.

Tomorrow we’ll dive into Proverbs 5 verses 1-8, and I’ll simply walk you through the loving and tender words of our Heavenly Father as he teaches us about sexuality and adultery.

The Hope of the Church Through The Sexual Revolution

Today we finish our series on the consequences of the sexual revolution. We start off today’s show with some questions and comments from members of the class. We also address an issue that I get all the time that deals with sexual temptation.

It’s exciting as we wrap up this discussion with the class, how members start reflecting and processing out loud. You get to hear the hearts of current and future ministry leaders on what to do and how to handle these issues.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three specific things:

  1. Is a Biblical understanding of sexuality a central doctrine in your church?
  2. Do you have the tenacity to teach what the Bible says about sexuality and marriage?
  3. Are you ready for the influx of our LGBT friends coming into your church looking for Jesus?

Final Thoughts:

Isn’t that such a fresh conversation about these tough topics? Someone once said that the local church is the hope of the world. Man, do I believe that! I hope you are encouraged by this discussion and I pray that your church leadership has conversations as open and real as this one. If you don’t, or you would like someone to facilitate the discussion, I would love to come alongside and help.

If you would like some more information, just email me through the website.

The Business and Politics of Gender Identity

The Sexual Revolution Continues

On today’s show we continue to ask the question, “How did we get here”? Referring to the Supreme Court decision on June 26, 2015, that legalized gay marriage at the federal level.

It is interesting, as we go through the sexual revolution timeline that started back in 1916, the question is not “How did we get here”? But instead, “How could we not get here”?

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss three specific things:

  1. What is gender identity?
  2. Why are there so many gender options available?
  3. How is sexual freedom threatening your churches tax inspection status?

 

Final Thoughts:
Have you ever heard the phrase, “the problem is not really the problem”? This sexual confusion that is in our culture is not about who we choose to have sex with. It’s about rights. The world says that I can have sex with anyone I want to, as long as it’s consensual, and oh, by the way, you have to agree and affirm my choice to do so.

This is exactly what the retail store Target has said. This is what the NFL, NBA, and NCAA have said. This is what the United States military has said!

So, let me ask you this, how are you going to have this conversation with a co-worker? Maybe your child went off to college and now their back, and they don’t believe anything that you taught them. How are you going to respond? Are you going to get upset and raise your voice which will only push them away or are you going to listen, love, pray and realize that you can’t make anybody do or believe anything?

It’s the Lord who changes hearts. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. He’s in the heart transplant business.

I’m reminded of what the Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:9 –  Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Changing hearts is the Holy Spirits job. Not ours. We only know God’s truth and plan because He revealed it to us. We didn’t figure this stuff out on our own. I pray that you remember that next time you start to feel your blood rise when someone disagrees with you on these topics.

Consequences of the Sexual Revolution – Part 2

STD's, Adoption Services, Foster Care and Pornography

Today we continue our conversation on the consequences of the sexual revolution that we are currently living in. We move through a lot of different topics quickly – things like adoption services and foster care. We discuss some stats on porn that are so overwhelming that no one believes them – especially Church leadership.

We also discuss some health issues related to pornography that includes excessive masturbation. If you have kids in their 20’s or are working with or ministering to that age group, you’ll find this information fascinating.

Lastly, we’ll discuss the power of Entertainment, and how an animated movie can cause such an uproar regarding the lead character’s sexuality.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three specific things:

  1. How do you explain what lesbianism is to your six-year-old daughter?
  2. Just exactly how much porn is on the Internet?
  3. How has the church sinned against our LGBT friends?

Final Thoughts:
There is indeed no specific chapter and verse for many of these topics that we are discussing today. It sure would have been simple for the Lord to include a spreadsheet attached to the end of our Bible that listed these issues with the chapter and verse, huh?

Well, I’m not so sure it’s about simplicity. When we talk about sexuality, we are in the messiness of life. I would encourage you to make the most out of your devotional time or quiet time and ask the Lord these hard questions. Use God’s Word on a daily basis to renew your mind. Ask God to give you wisdom in these areas along with talking to Christ-centered people in your life.

Personally, I like this messiness. I love the fact that we as Christians are challenged to think deeply about and pray through the things we say we believe. These issues should sharpen us as the Church. I see this as an opportunity to re-evaluate our theology. And to make sure that we are communicating what we believe clearly and in a loving manner.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Consequences of the Sexual Revolution

Isn’t it amazing how time flies when you’re having fun?! I can not believe it’s been seven months since our last podcast! I thought it would take about a month or so to finish this book and it ended up taking seven. Go figure.

Well, the good news is that the book is done. It’s called The Sex Spiral: Forgiven and Free from Pornography and prayerfully will be released in January. More on that later.

I want you to know that I have missed you! I pray that you went back and listened to the archive of radio shows and podcasts as we have over two hundred episodes now.

Well, let’s pick right back up where we left off again in March as we were discussing the sexual revolution. Today we’ll be talking about the consequences that come from such a revolution.

We don’t hear much about the consequences of sexual sin, do we? We don’t even like the word, “sin,” do we? Well, like it or not there are consequences when we step outside the boundaries of God’s design for sex, marriage and the family and part of those consequences are STD’s. Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

I was corrected in a class I was teaching last year. Someone raised their hand and said that the correct term is now STI’s. Sexually Transmitted Infections. After a bit of research, evidently, the medical community would like to clear up the confusion that all STD’s don’t lead to disease.

But from a Christian worldview, we must dig deeper and realize that there is great shame in having an STD. The secular medical community recognizes this, but won’t openly admit to it.

It seems more convenient to change the terminology. From their perspective will erase the shame. After all, It’s much better to have an infection than a disease. In which, I agree. But the question remains – how does the medical community communicate the best way not to get an STI that could lead to an STD? By safe sex? What does that even mean?

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:

  1. The Slippery Slope Theory – what is it?
  2. What is morally right when we discuss sexuality?
  3. Why are consequences of sexual sin like a Tsunami wave?

Closing Thoughts:

What is the cure to solving 20 million cases of sexually transmitted infections each year in the US? What is the cure to saving 16 billion dollars in healthcare costs? What is the remedy to the shame involved with having an STD?

It’s the Word of God my friends. God’s design for sex is only within the context of a Biblical marriage as defined in Genesis 2:24. One biological man and one biological woman in a committed relationship called marriage for life.

And for someone who stepped out, around and over that boundary for two decades, I can only pray that you don’t have to go through what I did to realize that God is not trying to squash your sex life. Instead, He is trying to save you a lot of pain so that you can experience true intimacy with first Himself and then your spouse.  I’m reminded of something Pastor James Macdonald says, “When God says don’t, He means don’t hurt yourself.”

A One Man Band

...and I Can't Even Play Air Guitar

Have you ever seen a one man band?  Someone on the street trying to make a living by playing every single instrument known to man at the same time….usually poorly.

 

Well…all that to say, I’m feeling like a one man band these days.  This ministry is small as it gets. It’s just me performing all the daily operations with the backing of my Board of Directors.  So in other words,  I’m a guy who has way too many instruments chained to my back, and I can’t play any of them, let alone sing.  I’ve been asked to quit singing in the shower, if you know what I mean.

If you are a regular listener to this podcast, you might have noticed that I haven’t produced any podcasts in a week, and this is supposed to be a daily discipleship podcast focusing on healthy sexuality.  I need to ask your forgiveness, it wasn’t my intent to get behind  But I do want to share with you what’s going on for the next month or so.

By God’s grace, Ambassador International will be publishing my first book. It’s called The Sex Spiral: Forgiven and Free From Pornography. I’m currently on the second draft and the publisher has given me deadlines to submit this draft in time for the fall release.

So with that being said, I need to put this podcast on hold for a month or so.  In that time, can I ask a favor?  Will you please pray for this ministry and podcast?  Please pray for wisdom – and that God would continue to do whatever it takes in my life to become like Jesus.

Lastly, I could also use your financial support to keep the mission of the ministry going.  The great news is that we have received a $7,500 matching grant from the Mission Increase Foundation.  This means that every dollar you give, it get’s doubled!  This is our first matching grant so it’s very exciting. Would you please prayerfully consider giving a one time donation of any amount or even becoming a Purity Partner with us? A purity partner is $30 per month – only one dollar per day – but with the grant as a new donor, it get’s doubled!

Visit SevenPlaces.org and click on donate.  Make sure you click on the drop down that says “Matching Grant!  Mail a check to Seven Places Ministries, P.O. Box 73275 Phx, AZ 85050

Well, that’s the plan for the next month.  I’ll be working hard on getting this book to the publisher while you pray for it.  Sound good?   If you are new to the podcast let me recommend starting at the very beginning of the podcast with show number 1 for the next month or so.  There are now over two hundred episodes. Those shows have great guests on them that

Once again, thanks for listening to God, Sex and You! I love you and will see you back here in the next month or so.

So Much For Being Politically Correct

Meet My New Friend John

I was sitting at a coffee shop last week (just minding my own business) being anti-social like normal. There was a gentlemen in his mid sixties sitting across from me and we both had our heads buried in our laptops. An older gentlemen then sat down next to me. He waited about sixty seconds before he started with polite conversation.

The polite conversation went from boring table talk to an unconventional religious and political discussion in a matter of nano-seconds. My new friend John, said, “What the **** is going on with all this blankety blank bathroom and gender stuff?”

At this point, I unburied my head and looked up. He looked at me and asked, “You okay?” I responded, “Oh yeah, I want to hear what you have to say about all this.”

John was 85 years old and fought on the front lines in the Korean War. He was a medic and said, “When people got half their face blown off or lost an arm or leg, I was the first guy responsible for getting them to safety. I personally put hundreds of young men in body bags.”

Then John said, “I fought for my country back then because this used to be a great country…a country worth fighting for. How is it that this same country is passing laws so that my granddaughters now have to grow up and use the same bathroom with men who think their women? What the *****?!”

Needless to say, I REALLY enjoyed our conversation. I learned about the heart of a hero that day. Someone who was on the front line of the Korean War to protect our freedom. He asked what I did for a living. “A pastor”, I replied. He smiled. “What are the chances that I would be having this conversation with a preacher?” He laughed out loud, got up and left.

If I were to see John again, I would first of all, thank him for his service. Secondly, I would share with him that I’m not just a preacher, but someone who has dedicated my life to protect his granddaughters from what’s currently going on with this sexual revolution we are currently living in.

I must admit however, this fight is lonely. Not many people want to join me in it. It’s too weird – it’s too scary. Most who do have left. There are times that I want to give up too. I tell myself that the work is too hard, it’s too lonely, and there is certainly not enough resources. But here’s the thing…I know that I can’t…I must continue this work God has given. So I’m not, and I press on another day.

I could use your help though. One way to protect John’s granddaughters is to pray and fund this ministry. Would you consider that? People are spending $3,100 per second viewing pornography. Many of them being Christian. Think about this…by the time you’re done reading this post (around five minutes) people around the globe have spent $930,000.00 on pornography.

Now, by God’s grace I do have some good news. We have received a $7,500 matching grant from the Mission Increase Foundation. This means that every dollar you give is doubled as a first time donor. This money is going toward two initiatives:

The publication of my first book by Ambassador International. It’s titled, “The Sex Spiral: Forgiven and Free From Pornography.”

The launch of our new website. It’s a new home base for men, women, husbands, wives, single, married, divorced, teenagers and grandparents to learn about healthy sexuality from a Biblical perspective.
The great news is that both of these initiatives are 80% done! The book is currently in the editing stage and will be released in the fall. The website is 45 days from going live as well. The $15,000 from this matching grant will go to finalize these projects.

If you have never supported the purity ministry of Seven Places, would you consider today? You can click here to give a one time gift or join us as a monthly purity partner. No donation is too small. Once again, your donation as a first time donor is doubled.

If you prefer to write a check, our address is:
Seven Places
P.O. Box 73275
Phoenix, AZ 85050

Thank you SOOO much!
Blessings,
-Dustin